Anguish [ by Phoenix

We’re happy to welcome Phoenix back for another SMM appearance! Those of you who have followed us for a while might recognize Phoenix from our interview with him, his interview with me, and his essay on anarchy. If none of these sound familiar to you, feel encouraged to check out the links above. Today’s poem, “Anguish [,” is from an unpublished collection, I. Follow Phoenix’s Amazon page to stay updated on the collection’s release, and, while you’re there, don’t neglect to check out Phoenix’s impressive catalogue of available books.

-Justin A. Burnett

Anguish [

By Phoenix

it has to be with/
the crazy style
feel some(thing) (ir)relevant
or anguish
I am angular

not quite felt sharp angled
parted too hard and spent (out)
high from pure pennies
American wealth
pennies and momentum

I don’t actually say though
I say it’s something dealt like Jack cards
felt by nothing death or sharp [and shard]
the peaceful shades and spade of jack
it’s anguish like this sharp card and shard

I cried on the sidewalk last night

did it matter(ed)
or was I just biology
anguish/replenish
the pain is radical I am fool
where the blood red Phoenix Arizona t-shirt
if it makes you feel any better
if it makes you happy and sad
the poem is bigger
than the page of your tears and ideas

I don’t believe
know if I can survive
crazy crazy style for a pack of cards
or wolves a pack of wolfed give
yourself the space and rhythm of time
hardwired like your friend
he went incognito
what shall it be

logic breaks down
into poetry

I am depressed and want to kill myself

balance a balance struck
anguish is my card or penny
my writing Jacked
nothing in

this

I hand hurts
so let me anguish smash
my hand

hurt from write
it’s anguish and irrational
a rash null
ration(ed) reason(ed)

(no detail—)

the anguish is crash
I respond

I move on

in
in spades

generate
create creative created
pain and

—

thought
give staccato
too much
word(s)
feel just
an
an

anguish

feel
pinned pained
adult is dead kid dead
don’t under
stand back back lash(ed)

he’ll hurt hell
hurt himself too
and shall though
is
willed
will
long

soliloquy or sorrow
and shape(d)
sorry for an
sorry for (an)

but heavy metal anguish
heavy metal

an
an
an
an
anguish
anguished and
wished

felt
dealt
it’s not
real

just let(ted) go

-Phoenix