Month: October 2018

Michael Myers is Too Old for This Shit

What Halloween Would Actually Look Like in 2018 By Bob Freville FADE IN: EXT. LONESOME HIGHWAY – NIGHT PRISON TRANSPORT OFFICER staggers out of the mangled, overturned prison bus clutching his bloody forehead. We can see his breath in the gelid night air. As Prison Transport Officer coughs and looks up the desolate road, THE

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The Mind of Logan Paul

by Blaine Flawson Illustrations by J.A. Burnett People have been a special kind of mean to the Pauls. First, Hollywood cast Aaron Paul in the desperate Fast & Furious rip-off, Need for Speed. Then Urban Dictionary called the youngest Paul a “coconut water drinking plutonium eating man baby thing that is doing no work for

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Presenting the Lindsay Lohan Home for Prepubescent Refugees

Are you feeling like an unfit parent? Or maybe you just want to take your spouse to an opium den for date night? Face it, you’re a Syrian refugee. You can’t afford day care services or a babysitter. Well, now you don’t have to! That’s where LiLo comes in. Just send her your GPS coordinates

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Monsieur Manafort’s Holiday

Illustration by Brian Glossup By Bob Freville Monsieur Manafort was overworked, undersexed and potentially under indictment. He yearned for the days when he and his betrothed, Kathy, would go on holiday to exotic places for some fun in the sun. Alas, Madame Kathy wasn’t speaking to Monsieur Manafort ever since the 1990s when Monsieur handled

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