by Ben Arzate
Matthew was once a keytar player for a synthpop band. After he got his girlfriend Karen pregnant, he was forced to marry her, get an office job, and move to Suburban Hell.
He keeps his keytar, as much as Karen wants him to get rid of it, and jerks off over it in his shed, imagining what could have been. To keep from damaging the keytar, he built a small robot called Sparky to dump his cum into. What he doesn’t know is that all the cum he fills Sparky with has brought it alive and Sparky wants nothing more than a voice to be able to speak.
“Sparky wanted her parts. Sparky wanted Papa to view him as something more than a jizz deposit box. If he took the keytar parts to have a voice, Papa would never forgive him.”
Dani Brown aka The Queen of Filth’s Sparky the Spunky Robot is a Bizarro comedy fable. It features plenty of gross-out humor with Sparky leaking cum all over suburbia as he journeys out for a voice. The contempt for modern suburban living is obvious as well.
The main critique here is against the idea that one must put one’s dreams away forever to become a “respectable” member of society and raise a family. It’s a skewering of the American dream (although Dani Brown lives in the UK) that’s been done before, but the take on it here is a lot of fun.
The plot has Sparky visiting the sheds in the houses around Suburban Hell and discovering the dreams and hobbies the people in the town have tucked away. He sees other failed musicians as well as artists, ghost hunters, taxidermists, and even another semen-powered robot named Sandy.
Sandy, however, has much darker ambitions than Sparky. This leads to friction between the two that eventually brings everything to a head when Sandy gets into Matthew and Karen’s house.
The prose reads like that of a book aimed at young readers, simple and direct. The book is even packaged like one with its colorful cover and silly title. It belies the contents full of jokes about Matthew’s giant ballsack, Karen’s numerous dildos, and spiders eating cum off the floor. It reminds me of the “children’s books for adults” that Carlton Mellick III has done.
I do find the way Matthew and Karen develop through the book somewhat lacking. Karen is too simplistically antagonistic to Matthew’s dreams of being a musician and comes across as a one-dimensional nagging wife. Likewise, Matthew’s change from henpecked husband to being able to stand up for himself comes a bit too suddenly. The story would have benefited from fleshing them out more.
Despite that, Sparky the Spunky Robot remains an entertaining Bizarro fairy tale. If you like weird, gross-out humor, this is well worth a read.