Good morning and welcome to the end. You wake up to a trail of garlic cloves running down your staircase and no one will cop to putting it there. You’re filled with an ineffable sense of dread. You don’t know if the garlic was put in place to keep the vampires out or to ensure
Tag: pop culture
It’s a damp, dreary morning in the bloated intestine of post-Gatsby Long Island and I’m motoring down Wellwood Avenue, past boarded-up storefronts, bound for The Botanist, New York’s finest medical marijuana dispensary. CSNY’s “Teach Your Children” is spewing from my tired car radio and I’m smelling things I haven’t smelled in years. The air is
by Zakary McGaha 2019 has been, and will continue to be, a pretty good year for horror movies. Like always, installments in already-established franchises are stealing most of the conversation, but there have been some notable new releases as well. So much so that it’s difficult to stay on top of things. Today’s review, however,
by Trebor Elliverf In recent weeks, the Motorist has received an alarming number of letters from our readers, each of them outlining a different grievance they had with our content. In one such missive, a 63-year old single mother named Beverly S. laments the use of vulgarity in our articles. Beverly writes, “I visited your
By Bob Freville As fans of the dark and depraved, we’ve all devoured dystopian novels and movies with the same gusto that a coprophile affords 2 Girls, 1 Cup. But like the fated Neo of The Matrix, it’s time we drop the proverbial red pill and take the blinders off. We are living in a
By Trebor Elliverf The dating pool has really thinned out in the last year, especially for those of you who are still in high school. If you’re a cis-gender female who’s looking to bring home the crown, it can be slim pickins. That’s why we would recommend that you sponsor Nikolas Cruz for Prom King.
The hit video game Red Dead Redemption 2 just got its on X-rated parody courtesy of Woodrocket and Pornhub. The feature-length fuck flick, subtly entitled Red Dead Erection, premieres on Pornhub today and it’s absolutely FREE to watch. Check out the trailer over on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hokA0ACcCU Red Dead Erection is written and directed by Vuko and Lee Roy Myers. It
Welcome back to You Can’t Make This Shit Up, our sporadic column exploring news too bizarre not to be true. Today we learned that shock rocker and unpredictable multi-hyphenate Marilyn Manson made a dildo with his face on it. This may not seem particularly outrageous or surprising to those familiar with the God of Fuck’s
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Are you feeling like an unfit parent? Or maybe you just want to take your spouse to an opium den for date night? Face it, you’re a Syrian refugee. You can’t afford day care services or a babysitter. Well, now you don’t have to! That’s where LiLo comes in. Just send her your GPS coordinates