Tag: satire

abstract_FETISH: The Future of American Art?

by World-Renowned Art Critic Lee Alvarez Having heard rumors of the mysterious art collective calling themselves “abstract_FETISH,” both online and at the wine parties where my associates and I get drunk and break bottles over each other’s heads, I was naturally curious when an announcement was made that they’d be putting on their first exhibition

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5 Old People Drugs That Can Get You Turnt the Fuck Up

By Scott “Boofer” Edgefield Let’s be real, drugs are dope…but you can only end up in so many K holes before you want a change of pace. Sure, rollin’ on Molly can be lit AF, but euphoria gets pretty boring after awhile. We here at the Imerominia Viasmos Beta fraternity firmly believe that there’s a

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Michael Myers is Too Old for This Shit

What Halloween Would Actually Look Like in 2018 By Bob Freville FADE IN: EXT. LONESOME HIGHWAY – NIGHT PRISON TRANSPORT OFFICER staggers out of the mangled, overturned prison bus clutching his bloody forehead. We can see his breath in the gelid night air. As Prison Transport Officer coughs and looks up the desolate road, THE

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The Mind of Logan Paul

by Blaine Flawson Illustrations by J.A. Burnett People have been a special kind of mean to the Pauls. First, Hollywood cast Aaron Paul in the desperate Fast & Furious rip-off, Need for Speed. Then Urban Dictionary called the youngest Paul a “coconut water drinking plutonium eating man baby thing that is doing no work for

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