Tag: satire

Your Happy Life: Day Six

Day One Day Two Day Three Day Four Day Five If you are happy, you must be without children. I speak the truth; remember your scorn when the unhappy clamor in protest, “children are happiness; children are innocence,” the time-worn, miserable cry. The only innocence is their own; they are fools blinded by the cold

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abstract_FETISH: The Future of American Art?

by World-Renowned Art Critic Lee Alvarez Having heard rumors of the mysterious art collective calling themselves “abstract_FETISH,” both online and at the wine parties where my associates and I get drunk and break bottles over each other’s heads, I was naturally curious when an announcement was made that they’d be putting on their first exhibition

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5 Old People Drugs That Can Get You Turnt the Fuck Up

By Scott “Boofer” Edgefield Let’s be real, drugs are dope…but you can only end up in so many K holes before you want a change of pace. Sure, rollin’ on Molly can be lit AF, but euphoria gets pretty boring after awhile. We here at the Imerominia Viasmos Beta fraternity firmly believe that there’s a

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Michael Myers is Too Old for This Shit

What Halloween Would Actually Look Like in 2018 By Bob Freville FADE IN: EXT. LONESOME HIGHWAY – NIGHT PRISON TRANSPORT OFFICER staggers out of the mangled, overturned prison bus clutching his bloody forehead. We can see his breath in the gelid night air. As Prison Transport Officer coughs and looks up the desolate road, THE

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The Mind of Logan Paul

by Blaine Flawson Illustrations by J.A. Burnett People have been a special kind of mean to the Pauls. First, Hollywood cast Aaron Paul in the desperate Fast & Furious rip-off, Need for Speed. Then Urban Dictionary called the youngest Paul a “coconut water drinking plutonium eating man baby thing that is doing no work for

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FAVOR! Release

It’s official: FAVOR! is ready to meet the world. It should be available on Amazon soon, but you can get it right here, right now in PDF format for a donation of any amount. FAVOR!, for those of you who missed yesterday’s announcement, is a “fashion, health, and… ahem… culture” magazine edited by the unbelievably

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Hipster War Vet Buys Back Penis from NYC Microbrewery

By Chandler Charrington Jeremy Skiddish started off his day feeling good-humored and confident. It was this young war  veteran’s 29th birthday and he was happy to be back in Williamsburg with his buds. His girlfriend, Denise, had gifted him an ironic bow tie emblazoned with ironic images of Larry the Cable Guy. Jeremy was wearing

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It Can’t Happen Here: A Novel for Our Times (and All Time)

by Bob Freville   “And I’ve got good news for you! This gospel of clean and aggressive strength is spreading everywhere in this country among the finest type of youth. Why today, in 1936, there’s less than 7 percent of collegiate institutions that do not have military-training units under discipline as rigorous as the Nazis,

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A New Voice in Bizarro Land: An Interview with Christopher Rigel

I picked up Christopher Rigel’s debut novella, Oval Orifice, almost entirely by chance. I knew Chris from college and was delighted to discover he had written a book. He had always been one of the sharp students in my literature courses, and I was certain his work would be worth a glance. When I discovered

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